Girl, You So Well Spoken!

i hate to be doing this. i hate to be giving this video any more publicity than it has already gotten. but i had to post it. 

take a moment and let the 3 minutes and 57 seconds of f*ckery seep into your soul.

let that marinate. 

you might be thinking that you'd rather have shoved wasps up your @ss than have been subjected to that mess of a video/message/song, but it needs to be addressed.

yes, folks, you did indeed and in fact just witness former cheetah girl/3LW member kiely williams hike up her skirt, pop a squat, and p!ss all over both the walt disney legacy/franchise and the hopes, dreams, and expectations of all the tweens who spent the last 7 years gathering in groups of four and lisping "we're cheetah girls, cheetah sistaaaaahhhhssss!"

i don't even know where to begin. i get that these disney kids want to branch out and be adults. i empathize with the desire to move from beneath the oft-paralyzing and career-stagnating shadow of the "disney kid" umbrella. but i have no words for putting on your sundays best streetwalker fishnets and making a song about how fun it is to do the hoe stroll. 

epic. fail. 

class does not go out the window when you want to prove that your a big girl. because last i checked, being a big girl has nothing to do with waking up on your hands and knees in some strange man's bed and then needing to take the time during your walk of shame the next day to try and remember how you got there. 

i had to start praying at "even though i'm not sure of his name he could get it again because the sex was spectacular"

was it now?? i thought you blacked out??

i wanted to make jokes about this hot @ss mess, but i'm emotionally spent. i'll leave the comedy to the peanut gallery over at crunk and disorderly and dListed. they have an iron stomach for f*ckery. this blogger needs to sit down. 

::pulls out bible and clutches pearls::

Unless you've been living under a rock (or you just don't get down with hip-hop), you are probably well aware that Drake is one of the most talked-about rappers right now. His single "Best I Ever Had" is from his latest mixtape, So Far Gone, and in a move pretty much unprecedented for a mixtape single, is currently sitting at the #3 spot on the Billboard Hot 100 Chart.

That being said, I'm sure I wasn't the only one who was excited to see what the video would be like. This song is all about the best girl he's ever had--so who would his leading lady be?? And to add to the hype, we all knew that Kanye West was directing it, so of course it would be dope because music is Kanye's art, right????

Blank. Stare.

This video is about one thing, and no part of it is illustrated artistically. While there are so many things I could say to express my disappointment and dismay, I'm just gonna stay silent, shake my head, and let Fresh of Crunk&Disorderly say it simply for me:

Fail.

But should we expect any less from Diddy?? Check out your favourite raisin in the sun acting a d@mn fool to sell some t-shirts.

So Perez says that Aubrey O'Day is going to be skanking it up looking for love a la Tila Tequila in the boys vs girls MTV reality show "A Shot At Love".

::Blank Stare::

Aubrey is just clutching at the straws of relevance these days... Why won't these Danity Kane chicks fade to black?!?!

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Happy Friday!

I arrived at work bright and early (surprisingly) after attending an average party last night with some of the girlies. Total waste of an outfit. Why do I keep doing this to myself? I know I'm in Pittsburgh and the most exciting thing I could possibly be attending is more than likely something thrown by people not yet graduated from college who live as faux local "celebrities", yet I insist on putting something cute on then acting like I didn't know I was going to be way too fashionable. smh...

In other news, today at approximately 2:30pm I will be embarking upon a 6-hour journey to the Big Apple. Why, you ask?? Why not??? Someone said road trip, and I'm always down for one of those :) Besides, maybe I'll finally make it to a Friday night Santos party house shindig...

Anyhoo, would any morning be complete without me unloading some news from around the blogosphere on you?? I think not! Enjoy folks!

• James McAvoy smolders. Yes, I said it. Funny-shaped nose & all. And of course, he's married. Womp Womp. Well, we can at least learn cute little mundane, off-the-cuff facts about him like the ones in this interview. Go on, click, read, live it up (vicariously).

• And speaking of Mr. McAvoy, he'll be featured in the May issue of Empire Magazine in one of a series of shots by Steven Spielberg. For the magazine’s 20th Anniversary Edition, Spielberg has guest-edited it with exclusive interviews and movie-inspired pics that are absolutely fabulous. Especially love how grown up the Harry Potter cast looks.

• Moving on... did you know that Aston Martin is looking to possibly enter Formula One racing?? The sexiness of that brilliant car is reason alone to cause me to watch those races...

• Did you watch the Making the Band 4 reunion special last night on MTV? You can prowl the innanets for details if you really even care. Biggest "shocker" of the night: Aubrey O'Day is getting her own reality show & Diddy is going to soon start the search for Danity Kane 2.0. sigh... I mean, seriously? Even a simple child could have guessed that the cookie was gonna crumble this way. Diddy isn't even trying to hide the fact that all he cares about is publicity, popularity and ratings. He hawked his "No BitchAzzness" tees, promoted his Twitter page, chortled about how Making the Band was one of the highest rated shows, and told Aubrey she needs to let him get in on her upcoming reality show. Diddy doesn't care about band people. The End.

• Jessica Lange and Drew Barrymore are supposedly going to be going up against each other for the Best Actress Emmy award because Lange refuses to step down and go for Best Supporting Actress instead. Well if this isn't art imitating life I don't know what is. Why won't Big Edie let Little Edie be great???

• Someone (specifically, Mayday) over at Trendmill is not drinking the Lady Gaga kool-aid. Gaga, they say, is no pop-art fashion icon. What do you think?

• In Tween news, they say that Miley Cyrus is jonesing for her former Jonas. Personally, the ethical side of me wants her to break up with that underwear model guy anyway because he is 20 and she is a 16-yr old child star and it sort of grosses me out.

• And last, but certainly not least, the Matthew Williamson for H&M line hit stores today for the masses to raid it. You like?