Girl, You So Well Spoken!

According to Necole Bitchie, Ciroc is deny, deny, denying.

“CIROC Vodka has nothing whatsoever to do with this inappropriate and offensive casting call, which was done without the brand’s knowledge or consent. We are currently investigating how this occurred. CIROC Vodka has created a brand that defines sophisticated celebration for all consumers, and in no way condones this practice.”

I have a feeling that somebody is about to be joining the unemployment line and I do not feel one ounce of pity for them.

The following was sent from a Necole Bitchie reader.

"I am a African-American model in the Atlanta, GA area and I received a casting notice in my email for a job opportunity. I was very excited to see that it was for Ciroc Vodka as I am a huge fan of Sean Combs, aka Puff Daddy. Below you will find the casting that I received in my email. As I continued to read the details I became outraged and appalled as I saw that I had been excluded from the job because I am not a “light-skinned” African-American woman. Is this what you tell talent agencies that you are looking for? Is this the type of mentality that you like to promote in your marketing campaigns? It is a shock to me to see that in the same year we received the first African American President Barack Obama whom might I add has a beautiful ”dark-skinned” African-American wife Michelle Obama, there is still racism running rampant among the world. The William Lynch (google him) theory still prevails and the idea of what is beautiful is still a misconceived notion. Beauty comes in all shapes, sizes, and colors. Not just “White, hispanic or light skinned african american” For all the blood, sweat & tears that African-American people have fought to achieve equality and to be accepted in this country, this is a blatant smack in the face and further lets me know that not only is racism still alive and well. It exists within the race of African-Americans. Black against black. This is no better than the times of slavery when those “light” enough to pretend they were white were able to exempt themselves from slavery and lives of hardship. What message does this send? If you are not light, you are not right? If you are black, get back? What does this do for the self esteem for young “dark-skinned” African American girls every where? Tell them that they are ugly because there skin is too dark? Sean Combs and Kim Porter are themselves what is considered “dark-skinned” African-American people. What image does this promote? One of self loathing? I am very disappointed in this company and in Puff Daddy. This is a sham and a disgrace. I will no longer support him, this company or any other of his business endeavors. I will forward this email to every African-American person that I know and convince them of the same."

Ciroc Promotion

Ciroc promo is this Friday, March 27, 2009
Time: 3:00pm - 7:00pm and 12:00am - 3:00am
Requirements:
Race: White, hispanic or light skinned african american
Height: At least 5′6 or taller
Size 7 or smaller.
This is a cash @ wrap job and the booking will be thru our partner. Please submit asap. Talent will only be contacted if the client is interested in booking you!!!

Compensation: $35.00 per hour

I fail to be surprised by this.

1. Fashion Whore. One of the only kinds of whores a lady should aspire to be. And now that I have the income to marginally support my desires... You get the point. Hey, I'm just trying to do my part to combat this recession!!

2. I Hate Creepy Crawlies of any kind. So that means (but is not limited to) insects, arachnids^*, those disgusting giant centipedes, things that fly/buzz/bite/look @ me sideways/have more than 2 legs or eyes, any variation or cousin of the aforementioned, stuff that is supposed to live outside, and ugly babies. I don't want anything creepy or crawly in my ambiance. Trying to scare me with any of the above will most certainly move you immediately to the top of my sh!tlist and more than likely result in the jeopardization^** or termination of our friendship.

3. I'm Not From London and the fact that you think that me being from England = me being from London is both annoying and lazy. I'm well aware that England is a much smaller country than the United States of America, but just as a New Yorker is much different from a Texan, Londoners belong to their own genre, and believe me, I'm not a part of it. Yet. Let's just break down the geography so you never have to ponder or inquire again: I'm from Peterborough, England. It is located approximately 83 miles- about 2 hours -North of London in the East of England. And yes, I resent you for all of the "pip-pip-cheerio" and tea & crumpets jokes. Resist the urge. Seriously.

4. It is difficult for me to hold a Grudge. No, really. I think it disturbs my chi. So you have to be a really crappy/evil person for me not to like you. It's not me, it's you. You suck as a person, and probably only your mother loves you.

5. The 1st Couple of Months Are My Favorite Part of a Relationship. I adore first dates and first kisses. There's mystery, there's excitement, commitment is little to non-existent so you're free to explore all options and you're never bored. He's still trying to impress you and he's still trying to figure out your imperfections--so cast him to the wayside now so that he's left with the teasing memory of an aloof goddess. The 1st few months are nothing but fun, and since when it comes to men moving past the 4-month mark highlights the fact that I have the relationship attention-span of a small goldfish, the 1st few months mean Jodie's not bored.

6. Taxis > Buses. As a matter of fact, they're better than cars too. Maybe I just get more enjoyment than most people do out of being chauffeured around like some kind of primadonna. Reason #274 why I need to be a socialite: Salaried Car Service.

7. I Secretly Resent Americans. Before you start with the "well go back to your country!" spiel, let me just say that for the record, I am grateful for all of the opportunities that this country has offered me and my family. This has been my environment for the last 13 years, which constitutes more than ¹/₂ of my life. Thus, I am the person you know (or observe through my blogging) in large part because of my environment-- (North) America. My sentiments toward America/Americans is unique to my experience. Basically, take that as an "I'm entitled to my personal opinion" disclaimer. In my experience, Americans are less open-minded, often poorly-traveled (and often because they don't find it necessary to leave the States, USA>every other country so... why leave??), & race is ALWAYS the pink elephant in the room. It took America 2 years to reconcile my black skin with my English accent They never reconciled my black skin with my English accent, I assimilated and adopted an American accent. I still get astonished looks and disbelief when I tell people where I'm from. It took Black America 9 years before being this dark stopped preventing me from somewhat fitting into their standard of beauty. Or maybe I didn't exactly break that either, as I'm still often told things like, "you're really pretty for a dark skinned girl". [Pause]. Ok, maybe my resentment isn't so secret. Clearly, I could go on about this for days...

8. Cosmo, Details, & GQ are sexy . This doesn't need much explanation does it? Cosmo promotes being a fun, fearless, sexually intellectual, confident, smart, stylish woman. It is the perfect balance between frivolity & frugality, wildness & well-being. Plus, you learn something you didn't know before in every issue. Translation: sexy. A man who reads Details is obviously trendy and there is nothing sexier than a young professional guy who knows the importance of a tailored suit, what color socks he should wear and when, and how much hair gel defines the line between swag and douchebag.

9. I Have Two Middle Names. And no, you can't know what they are. For some reason, I happen to think they're kind of boring.

10. I Really Should Have Stopped This Thing at 7 cuz I'm clearly out of material.
    

That's all.

*Arachnid is my safe word, the s-word is much scarier and draws visuals into my mind that I'm unwilling to confront.
**Yeah, I made up that word. Deal with it.

So I told myself just moments ago that I was going to get off my ass and do something with my life, but I just had a thought about the hotness that I read yesterday and I thought to myself, "self, you do have a blog now, why not vent your feelings on the matter??"... so here goes.

As some of you may or may not know (depending on how often you keep your eye on the gossip blogs of our day) Yung Berg recently made some interesting comments about how he likes his women...

“I’m kinda racist… I don’t really like dark butts too much… It’s rare that I do dark butts. Like really rare… It’s like, no darker than me. No darker than me. I love the pool test…. If you can be like ‘Yo, baby. I met you in the club. Let’s go back to my house. Jump in the pool exactly like you are.’–And you don’t come looking better wet than you were before you got in the pool then that’s not a good look. Any woman that uses brown gel to set down her baby hair is not poppin."

..."the horror! the outrage! I'm not buying his albums!..." said the peanut gallery... now, as a "dark butt" myself, I cannot for a moment feign astonishment. I guess it makes us all a little uncomfortable when someone blatantly confesses to the colorism that is so rampant in our community--no, it is much better for us all to sit on our hand in mute, head-boppin observation as passive enablers.

Please turn your attention to the music videos and consider one thing--while not every female featured in these videos could naturally pass Berg's "pool test," you can bet your bottom dollar that those who cannot have already reached into the wig crypt and borrowed Yaki's finest Wet & Wavy resources to create the illusion.

Wake up people. I couldn't count on both hands and feet how many times I was told my complexion did not pass some sort of white-is-right test. The real issue isn't truly the idiot from which this self-hating statement came from. The real issue is that the ideas behind it and the message that they are conveying are very much alive and thriving in our community. So what are we going to do about that?

**edit: Yung Berg has recently posted a lame video-apology. He claims he was taken out of context. You be the judge:
Lip Service Audio
The Apology