i saw one of the images from this story on someone's tumblr and couldn’t decide which image i wanted to re-post: the oil-soaked pelicans, or the aerial-views of the gulf of mexico.
i picked the first image, that of a dragonfly, stuck to oil-covered marsh grass, trying (in vain) to clean itself off. for some reason, a photograph of the effects of this oil spill on one of the tiniest members of that now-disrupted ecosystem seemed poignant.
i hate to be doing this. i hate to be giving this video any more publicity than it has already gotten. but i had to post it.
take a moment and let the 3 minutes and 57 seconds of f*ckery seep into your soul.
let that marinate.
you might be thinking that you'd rather have shoved wasps up your @ss than have been subjected to that mess of a video/message/song, but it needs to be addressed.
yes, folks, you did indeed and in fact just witness former cheetah girl/3LW member kiely williams hike up her skirt, pop a squat, and p!ss all over both the walt disney legacy/franchise and the hopes, dreams, and expectations of all the tweens who spent the last 7 years gathering in groups of four and lisping "we're cheetah girls, cheetah sistaaaaahhhhssss!"
i don't even know where to begin. i get that these disney kids want to branch out and be adults. i empathize with the desire to move from beneath the oft-paralyzing and career-stagnating shadow of the "disney kid" umbrella. but i have no words for putting on your sundays best streetwalker fishnets and making a song about how fun it is to do the hoe stroll.
epic. fail.
class does not go out the window when you want to prove that your a big girl. because last i checked, being a big girl has nothing to do with waking up on your hands and knees in some strange man's bed and then needing to take the time during your walk of shame the next day to try and remember how you got there.
i had to start praying at "even though i'm not sure of his name he could get it again because the sex was spectacular"
was it now?? i thought you blacked out??
i wanted to make jokes about this hot @ss mess, but i'm emotionally spent. i'll leave the comedy to the peanut gallery over at crunk and disorderly and dListed. they have an iron stomach for f*ckery. this blogger needs to sit down.
It's been a while so let me refresh your memory. This post, and others titled identically, is dedicated to items of f*ckery around the world and web-o-sphere that are ridiculous, ludicrous, and should not exist. This is not just my opinion either folks, you know you are thinking the same thing. Observe:
A clump of Elvis Presley's hair, chopped off in 1958, is available for sale by auction, with an estimated sale price of between $8,000 and $12,000. They even brought in a Celebrity Hair Expert, to confirm that the strands do indeed appear to belong to "The King". ::blank stare:: I am going to gently place this gross and ridiculous piece of news in the "sh!t white people do" box. I mean, I understand being a fan of someone, but seriously?? Hair?? I pity the poor child who's parents plan on putting up a semester's worth of their tuition in favour of a dead man's hair.
Pamela Anderson's dress. Do I even need to speak on this?
Dear Rihanna, I do not cosign this hairdo. It takes me to a dark place. Sigourney Weaver is there and there's lots of steam.
Wale, Kid Cudi, and Drake are being crowned as GQ's "Man of the Year", proving that the key to a successful career is having the right hype-machine behind you. Did a piece of your soul just die? I'm unsure as to when these three became sartorial stand-outs. Or in what world their accomplishments even begin to match up to past "Man of the Year" winners. But who the hell am I, right?
So apparently, a federal advisory panel voted yesterday to recommend a ban on Percocet and Vicodin because of their effects on the liver and reduce the amount of acetaminophen found in over-the-counter Tylenol...
How the hell are we supposed to self-medicate now?! According to a New York Times article:
The two drugs combine a narcotic with acetaminophen, the ingredient found in popular over-the-counter products like Tylenol and Excedrin. High doses of acetaminophen are a leading cause of liver damage, and the panel noted that patients who take Percocet and Vicodin for long periods often need higher and higher doses to achieve the same effect.
Acetaminophen is combined with different narcotics in at least seven other prescription drugs, and all of these combination pills will be banned if the Food and Drug Administration heeds the advice of its experts. Vicodin and its generic equivalents alone are prescribed more than 100 million times a year in the United States...
While the medicine is effective in treating headaches and reducing fevers, even recommended doses can cause liver damage in some people. And more than 400 people die and 42,000 are hospitalized every year in the United States from overdoses.
In hopes of reducing some of these accidents, the committee voted 24 to 13 to recommend that the F.D.A. reduce the highest allowed dose of acetaminophen in over-the-counter pills like Tylenol to 325 milligrams, from 500. And members voted 21 to 16 to reduce the maximum daily dosage to less than 4,000 milligrams.
What is the FDA thinking?! Don't they know that there are people out there in genuine pain?? They are about to put half of middle America's housewives in rehab. This is America for chrissake! I reserve my right to beat the sh!t outta my liver just so I can forget the woes of a dead-end marriage and bad@ss kids!! This sh!t is gonna be worse than prohibition. Brace yourselves, y'all! There's about to be a ton of slurry-worded protesting. Heads will roll.
because this sh!t right here... this sh!t right here just ain't right.
No, but really. Some people just don't know their limits. I mean, for the love of all things good and sacred in this world! That woman, the one on the right who can't seem to even smile with her mouth closed without looking like... that... that is Lil' Kim. Your favourite female rap icon of the late 90s early 00s. Unrecognizable. smh... (Straight Outta NYC)
And in other news:
In Austin, the police do not give a d@mn how old you are, they will tase that @ss in a moment! Just ask Officer Christopher Beize who busted out his taser gun to subdue 72-year old tomcat, Kathryn Winkfein. Police brutality?? I understand that she was getting a little too rowdy, but I mean, d@mn... Clearly Granny Kat caught Officer Beize on a day when his mother-in-law had emasculated him one time too many, and he wasn't takin' no sh!t!
Tuesday, May 25, 2010 at 4:11PM 
